SITTING SEARCHING ONLINE.....
I am 46, and off from work with a doctors note for 'stress/depression' which i thought came on quite suddenly but on reflection, after reading some of your pages/stories.....I have been feeling empty and overwhelmed progressively for years but most of what I am talking here i would say has become most noticeable in the past year and a half.
At work I recently have felt the pressure more with growing (unfounded) anxiety about my skills and effectiveness. I feel anxious about the future, tearful and quick to anger. At home I have become disinterested - in gardening, cooking, keeping on top of things generally; and living only with a teen who is out most of the time has given me 'permission' to not notice this. This has also given me free rein to eat large portions of chocolates without anyone seeing. And sometimes bread and cheese which I know do not agree with my system at all. I know about healthy eating, and am vegetarian and have tried raw vegan before but seem determined to not want this kind of food anymore? Eating chocs I have come to do almost daily now - craving them hugely, like I used to crave cigarettes when I was a smoker (8+ years ago now). Obviously this is impacting on my weight (and self-esteem) - I am now the heaviest I have been since pregnancy at 12+ stone (havent got on scales for a few weeks) at 5'4". I used to enjoy jogging and swimming but I just dont have the motivation or energy these days, even with co-runners and goals to aim for. I do not drink but have craved to have a few and smoke cigarettes again recently.
My mind is foggy, my memory poor, and I can get very light headed for which I have had days off work. I have started to get shaky if I havent eaten and I go for chocolate at these times. I experience stiffness in my joints especially in my fingers and I have the start of swollen first joints like arthritis in my fore fingers. I get pain in my knees and hips at times. I get headaches more frequently than I used to. I asked the doctor to test for pre-menopause and my FSH/LH levels which i dont know but they reported they were fine and in fact that I should ensure `i use contraception as I am still fully fertile'. My blood cholesterol is around 4.3 but needs testing again. In the UK we cannot ask for the tests you mention quite so readily through the NHS so the absolute necessities and why would be helpful to know?
Usually in the first part of the month I can find motivation and positivity, but 14 days into my very regular 28 day cycle I feel the shift in my moods and cravings etc as above MASSIVELY. I only menstruate for 2 days; 1 heavy, 1 very light but I get nausea/cramps like I did as a teenager. I do not take any medications at all and have not done so for years. I have taken Vit D mouth spray and various multi-vits in the past but have forgotten to do so in recent months.
I wonder what you think/advise?? I would really appreciate some thoughts.
Best wishes to all