How so badly out of whack?
by Anony Mouse
I am just utterly confused and, to be honest, terrified, and have no idea about how to proceed.
I have an auto-immune (MS- benign) which I had pretty much under control, except for chronic fatigue and mild cognitive difficulties, such as short term memory. I usually noticed these symptoms around day 14 of my cycle. As this became worse (around the age of 44) I thought HRT would be a good idea. I saw a gynaecologist and he prescribed progesterone and oestrogen - a patch of each and I noticed no difference, just put on a shed load of weight. I then learned about bio-identical hormones on the web and decided to try these as I have always tried to be as natural as possible with my medication. (I take nothing for my MS).
I started off self medicating (DANGEROUS!!!) and like many others had strong adverse reactions so found a reputable specialist who suggested a tiny amount of progestrogen at night (as I told him this made me feel awful) and a tiny amount of oestrogen in the day as I seem very drug sensitive and see how this works. Well, things got worse and I felt like I was losing my mind with mood swings, paranoia, anything ugly. You name it, I thought it. I had headaches, which I always had with MS and these increased. I got an aching back arms and legs, awful tender feeling in my stomach, sore breasts (new to me) and tireder and stiffer than ever. My glands would swell and become sore... Very soon, those close to me, began to back away thinking I wasn't coping with my MS or that I was just menopausal and they should just leave me to get on with it. I preferred it that way as I felt so whacko and was upsetting those who cared. All the time, though, I have desperately wanted help, understanding and to get on a road to recovery. It really is a horrible situation.
After 2-3 months, I ended the relationship with my boyfriend - much to his surprise. It was hard to tell if he really wasn't right for me or if I acted in a whacko manner. I had lost my sex drive by now and couldn't bear the guilt of this. That's the worst thing about all of this. I am never sure of what to do and who has the safest advice for me or who is acting in my best interests. I am, consequently, very anxious and feel like stopping the tiny amounts of bio-identical hormones I dare take so's at the very least, I can see if they're causing my peri-menopause to be worse.
I am really confused and desperate. Which way should I turn? Is there a specialist that could understand auto-immune conditions and hormone imbalance that exists in the world? I have always thought there was a relevant link. I was doing so well with my MS and feel devastated that menopause is tipping me to a point of... I don't know what and dread to think.
I would be so grateful for any advice (I am dreading it will be, 'increase the progesterone'??).
I think I should mention that I am a food sensitive/intolerant, drug sensitive, a penicillin allergy person so am, naturally, at odds to do this, especially after reading other experiences. Ideally, I would like to take the natural approach. I am interested to hear what you think.