(Vancouver, BC, Canada)
I'm not sure which way to turn.
I really hit my stride in life (48 now) about five years ago, fell in love a few years ago, then started falling asleep sitting up, getting massively irritated with strangers and loved ones alike, and am now on a downward spiral of self-loathing, ashamed of my behaviour and inability to maintain a stable mood for the past eight months now. My partner is taking the brunt of my negativity and I'm afraid of the consequences of this.
After a lifetime of what is likely PMDD and anemia, I had the Mirena IUD removed four months ago thinking it may be the cause...though it was prescribed to solve these issues. Since then things have gotten worse. Saliva test results say Estrogen Dominance and high stage 2 adrenal fatigue. I've been on Cytomel/T3 for several years and while my levels are normal, I feel chronically PMS, hypothyroid, and more curious symptoms than there's space for. I'm now on glandular adrenal support, though I haven't noticed much change.
My question: I've taken the progesterone cream into my own hands as I'm having trouble getting an ND to prescribe doses higher than 250mg/day. I'll be feeling OK and hopeful, and then at even the threat of a stressful moment, I feel like I've been kicked in the gut and my reaction is off to the races. Do I still keep upping it even if my ND wants me to go slowly because the adrenals are repairing themselves? I am still getting painful breasts, swelling in the legs and under the eyes, and a bit of weight gain with each increase.
A year away from what had become my most loving, happy, and more confident self is heartbreaking to me and I risk losing it all. I won't deny I have some very old issues that I'd thought I'd forgiven myself and others for and moved on from through many, many hours of therapy, healing work. These days the slightest thing takes me back to a very dark place.
Can anyone relate to this or share what helped them, even if it means I just need more time doing what I'm doing?
Many, many thanks,