I feel like falling isn't even teh beginning...
by petra skerritt
(fort bragg ca)
I am 34 years old, no children, but happily married. Right after getting married I started to physically not feel well. Sleepless nights, with leg cramps, joint pain, and inflammation like no other. I could not figure out why I was feeling so bad when the most luckiest thing happen to me. I found my soul mate and I rid my self of any drama by burning my bridges with the people whom created it.
I went to the Dr. and long story short, after 3 years of mountains of testing, poking, X-rays, MRI's, I was told I had Fibroymaylgia and that my Lyme disease came back positive as well. So naturally I thought great I am gonna fight this. I fought like crazy and even after 2 years of complete antibiotics treatments and herbal overtake in my cabinets...I could no longer endure that nightmare.
I caved in and mentally locked my self away for a couple of months. My husband thought I was physically taking a break but little did he know I was just giving up for a while. Not for good but just for a short time I wanted to forgot on how to keep going when there was no definite answers to my diseases.
Within that time, I became pregnant. We were 100% afraid and profoundly confused on what to do. I was on so many antibiotics treatments, pain medications and ext. that I thought we did more harm then good. Through my Dr's advise I had a abortion. It was the most painful mental decision I had made and that was not the end of it.
The clinic I went to gave me the pill. Now mind you, this is not the morning after pill. This is the real deal to where you are in crucifying pain for 2-3 hours bleeding. Even heavy breathing was a big no. I calmly had to take short and quick breaths. During this whole process all I kept thinking I deserved this for making such a selfish decision and no one could tell me otherwise. You could imagine the depression I fell into. A day later after that night I was told by the Dr the pill did not work. So they advised I had to take another one and go through the whole process over again. The second night was worse. I could not move an inch, even to turn. So to have to do it twice was putting me at the end of my rope.
The next time we went to the Dr I had a nervous break down. He told me the second pill did not take as well and I now had to do the surgical procedure in order to succeed. I said no and advised everyone this is a sign and I am keeping the baby. They told me it was too late. Medically there was enough damage done for the baby to be not developed right and this was not a decision anymore but a must.
For 9 months I spoke to no one after that day. I could no longer find a speck of light in my life. I was a walking zombie.
What brought me back to life was my sweet and darling husband. Even though his canned chicken noodle soup had no added water, and instead of honey he used sugar for my tea's, I was adored and spoiled rotten until I came back to myself again.
Unfortunately though psychically I was still enduring a lot of pain. Especially on my periods. They were profoundly heavy, painful and when I explained it to my Dr I was told that was normal with Lyme disease. So I soldiered up through my periods and became a professional at hiding my pain from everyone.
This August I ended up in the ER room for abdominal pain that was so severe I could not stand up straight. I had a ultra sound done and it was found that I had a cluster of Fibroids and a cyst. I had a surgery done to remove them and then was told it found that I have stage 3 Endometiousis as well. I am basically now just saying that if there is anything else left in this world I will be the first one to get it. I cant' help but laugh when they keep telling me " you have and you are diagnoses is and ext". It just keeps piling up like a stack of cards.
So this brings me to my last quest. With Endo as all of you know you are at a higher risk for infertility. I decided that one thing is not gonna be taken from me. I want to be a mother, a parent that cares for nothing more but her child. I want to make up for the mistakes I made in life by giving my child the right choices, the right beautiful life she or he can have by a loving mother and father. So we decided it's baby making time now.
We just recently started but for some odd reason I can tell nothing is happening. My body is telling is something is off. I started to research the endo and came across your site. I ordered the cream but not yours because you are out of order for the time being. So I found Emerita Pro-gest on Amazon. No fragrance and no paraben. Its seems to be as good as yours but the mg might not be as high.
My questions to you is I want to be successful the first time. With you knowing some of my story now could you please advise me of how I should use it the right way more aggressively. Not just to decrease the Endo pain, which is horrible and at times so painful I feel like someone is ripping me apart inside. But also to get pregnant. I am taking my multi vitamin and will soon start my Glutathione supplement as well. I am also taking my Vit D3 drops now. The Emerita mg are 450. How much and how many days should I start and then proceed later if I get pregnant?
After I am done using the Emerita I will purchase and switch over to you.
Thank you and it's so good to know that this site and your countless love of support is out there. Reading through this whole site and everyone's reviews and opinions are a optimistic fresh breath of air. Thank you for all of that. Also I will take any other suggestions on pregnancy with all of this. Anything that counts I will take.