by Maggie L
(Glen Aubrey, NY USA)
PLEASE HELP!! Dear Wray, I am totally a WRECK! My story is so complicated for me to explain and right now I am experiencing high anxiety every day and have been in severe sleep deprivation for almost five years. When I was about forty years old, in 2001, I began having sleep disturbances in which I'd always get to sleep, but started to awaken in the night, even when I didn't have to urinate. I'd use the bathroom and get so mad when a little tinkle would come and my bladder was not obviously full and I couldn't understand why I'd awakened. I'd always get back to sleep, but when it got to where I'd wake two, three and sometimes four times it became annoying and frustrating, making me so discouraged.
It would go away and then return. I began to get some small bags under my eyes and became dissatisfied in my appearance. I exercised regularly and was generally happy and social. I didn't feel bad such as fatigue or anxiety, just my sleep pattern, which was normally good; was now disruptive. I went to my family doctor at the time and she prescribed me an antidepressant called Trazadone. When I asked what it was, I told her I wasn't depressed, but she said it was used more for sleeping issues than for depression. I'd like to insert here that when I was about twenty-two I was diagnosed with endometriosis and in my thirties began having cluster migraine headaches and had cystic breast appear.
I'd been married to an abusive alcoholic/drug dependent husband, so had much stress on and off on a consistent basis. I got stressed easy and didn't have very good coping skills I'm ashamed to say. I'm sorry this is so long. Back to the Trazadone, unfortunately I took it. A low dose of 25mg. It helped for awhile. I don't remember how long I used it, but then I just wasn't feeling any better but I didn't want to increase the dose. After a while I stopped it. I have to continue on another page. I'm sorry.
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by Maggie L
(Glen Aubrey, NY)
Here I am again Wray, I am sorry this is long. I just wanted to give you somewhat of a history in a short space of time as possible. To get past all the details and get closer to where I am at, I ended up agreeing to use a drug I had no knowledge of. A Benzodiazepine called Ativan and unknowingly became addicted. When I stopped its use I went into sever withdrawal for three days losing almost twenty pounds in three days, no sleep and just such horrific symptoms I can't explain it all here or the reactions from my family and friends. I became a freak! No body understood. I ended up back on the Ativan and tried to get off and ended up in several different hospitals, two detoxes and still no relief.
After an array of other drugs prescribed to me and put on another benzo called Klonopin I finally got myself off, I guess too fast, but had no help. My sleep barely returned and I'd go days. Maybe some two or three in between. I ended up back on Klonopin and have been weaning off using a compounded liquid suspension. I feel so helpless.
I am on bio-identical progesterone now. At first I worked with an expensive BodyLogic doctor who messed me up even more. He put me on etradiol/estriol, testosterone, dhea at 10mg and oral progesterone. My fatigue got worse, my breast became so horribly sore and now I have painful cysts and pelvic pain. I found another doctor who has me on transdermal progesterone and testosterone. He just told me to stop the dhea because of my breakouts saying that can cause it. He increased the testosterone, which I started, but stopped. I'm reluctant to use it because of the extreme hair loss I've had and I read that it can cause break outs and hair loss to get worse. I use about 800mg of progesterone and am not sleeping but several hours or less. I feel so tired and anxiety is so bad.
I hate the benzo, which makes this harder. I'd appreciate any advice. I gave my e-mail. I'm in desperate emotional state. I cry every day through out the day and I just want to be normal. I've missed so much time with my grandson and daughter and haven't been able to travel. Haven't seen my son in four years though we talk on the phone and he tries to support me. I've run out of space. PLEASE CONTACT ME. I PRAY EVERY DAY for the strength to go on. I'm broke and have exhausted the funds to see another doctor. GOD LET SOMEONE HELP ME I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN!!
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