2 m/c at 29 years old and have lost hope...

by Anah
(Honolulu, HI)

My husband and I first ttc Dec 2010. Got a positive hpt on the morning of Christmas Eve. We were so excited! We told everyone on that day and on Christmas thinking it would be such a special gift for our moms.

On Feb 12 I started having cramps and bleeding. I went to the emergency room and my fear was confirmed. The baby was gone. I didn't want to be reminded of it every time I went to the bathroom and there was blood, so I decided to have a d/c. I cried nearly every day for two weeks after that.

My doctor advised that I wait three months, but also said I could try after one cycle. So we did. Got pregnant quickly again. Positive hpt on 4/16 ( a day before I was expecting my period), but started bleeding on 4/23. Probably a "chemical pregnancy". We are 29 and presumably healthy. I just wish we had some answers. I'm so close to giving up on being a mom, but I know it breaks my husband's heart to hear me say that. Any advice?

Comments for 2 m/c at 29 years old and have lost hope...

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May 19, 2011
Don't Give Up!
by: CamperKat

I am so sorry to hear about your losses...nothing is so heartbreaking.

My husband and I married at age 30, and waited until we were financially "set" at the age of 42 to start trying to have a family. And shocker: it's not like what we read or heard on TV--your clock really does start ticking down at age 35, and by the age of 40, the average woman has a less than 5% chance of pregnancy per cycle. So...we went through fertility treatments and several losses, including one at 5 months caused by amniocentisis, only to get a call from the geneticist that same day the baby died--telling us "Congratulations! He's perfect!"

Since 2003, it has been an emotional, crushing roller coaster of endless heartbreak focusing on how to raise cash finances for a donor egg pregnancy (a non-refundable $80,000--$100,000) adoption (years back, our social worker suddenly died and left us without paperwork...and now at our current age of 51, we are too old to adopt from any foreign country, and American agencies do not want to deal with us). So I so very much understand how difficult it is trying to create a family with someone you love. We are together 21 years, and Christmas and Halloween and summer vacations are very hard for us. So is celebrating the birthdays and graduations of our nieces and nephews. We get weepy when we see small children at the museum or at the grocery store. It is a constant daily burden of the heart.

But you are still very young, my darling. And although it is not easy to hear, most women lose at least one or two pregnancies before successfully giving birth to a healthy child. It's almost as if some of our bodies need to be "primed" before they finally know what to do.

But remember this: ahead of you, you have many years of truly viable chances and choices...if you are unable to conceive your own biological child, there are donor egg programs for people your age that offer 100% money back guarantee programs. You are young enough to adopt any baby of any race from any country in the world. You will be a Mommy...maybe a bio mom, or a mom of the heart--but you will be. Hang in there, and know there is a baby (or maybe more?!) just waiting to come to you.

God bless.

May 22, 2011
mahalo nui!
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your comment! It gives me hope that I will one day be a mother. We still really want a biological child together, but are beginning to consider foster parenting and adoption. Reading your story brought a tear to my eye. God bless you and your husband!

May 24, 2011
i know how you feel
by: irene

hello there,

i know exactly how u feel. i am exactly the same age 29 will be thirty this year. my story is so long. but to cut it short. last year i had 3 micarriages THREE all in the space of about 8 months and all before i reached 8weeks. i did so many test until a particular doctor did a progestrone test and i realised my progestrone was alomst non existent. so i found this website site and totally changed my life i went crazy in cutting out as much oestrogen out of my life as possible. i changed everything from what i ate to want i allowed touch my skin (esp make i read every ingredient list and stayed away from parabens). even what i washed my clothes with. my husband and i only got married last year and he is younger than me and since we know that getting pregnant was not our problem, it was me my hormones were just all over the place. anyway i bought the naptro so much of it and used it religiously without fail. and i prayed and prayed and belived that i will bear a child for my husband. you see i already have a 10 year old girl healthy and strong and didnt bleed once 4 her pregnancy. so i knew what was happening to me was hormonal or based on the changes in my life over the last 10 years.

i can tell u know that i am 26 weeks pregnant know and doing well not one spot of blood since i found out i was pregnant i am even more energetic than i was with my daughter. To god be the glory i thank god that this website gave us the knowledge to realise things we wouldnt normally...

still keep faith and it will happen it will. i will keep you in my prayers God bless.

May 25, 2011
2 m/c at 29 years old and have lost hope...
by: Wray

Hi Anah As CamperKat says don't give up, I had 5 miscarriages before having my daughter. All within the first 6 to 8 weeks. Stress caused all of mine, including stopping a dog fight! If only I'd known about progesterone, and of course none of the doctors back then, 29 years ago, suggested it. If they even knew it existed. Unfortunately it's only after you've had 3 miscarriages will they consider testing you. But why wait for that. You evidently have no trouble falling pregnant, and apart from a possible, rare genetic problem, I'd say it could well be caused by a drop in progesterone levels. It's certainly worth trying it. Please avoid any stress too, as this drops progesterone levels sharply, which can cause a miscarriage as happened to me each time. I've helped many women who've had previous miscarriages, including one girl in Australia who had severe bleeding in her 6th week. I asked her to apply double her daily amount of progesterone and I now have a picture of her baby boy. We do have a page on Pregnancy, please look through it, as it explains when and how to use progesterone. There are plenty of studies you can read too. Please consider taking vitamin D, it's vital for the developing foetus, see here, here, here, here and here. Another vital nutrient is taurine, please consider taking this too, see here, here and here. Take care Wray

May 30, 2011
Don't Give Up!
by: Wray

Hi CamperKat You're such a compassionate person, thanks so much for the blessings you sent Anah. It makes such a difference knowing we're not alone. I thank you too for your continued support, your comments are always worth reading. Take care Wray

Jan 25, 2012
God of miracles
by: Anonymous

Hi i am 27 and married,have been trying for a baby for nearly 2yrs and nothing ,i have been started on Primolut N to help me cause i have very irregular periods please help me pray i want to hold a baby in my arms and good luck to u all too,,,,

Jan 25, 2012
God of miracles
by: Wray

Hi there I have no idea why you've been put on a Contraceptive when you want to fall pregnant. All drug based contraceptives stop ovarian function. In other words you wont be ovulating, without this you won't fall pregnant. Furthermore you won't make progesterone, it's often a lack of this which causes irregular cycles. It appears you could have PCOS, please check through this page to see if you have any of the other symptoms. It cold be you have a lack of vitamin D, this is vital for normal ovarian function, conception and a successful pregnancy, see here, here, here, here and here. These are excellent videos to watch too, see here and here. Please have a test done. For more info on vitamin D levels, testing etc see the Vitamin D Council, GrassrootsHealth, Birmingham Hospital and Vitamin D Links websites. Blood levels should be 70-100ng/ml or 175-250nmol/L and not the 30ng/ml or 75nmol/L most labs and doctors regard as adequate. The minimum daily dose should be 5000iu's per day, although the latest research indicates it should be 10,000iu's per day, see here. Take care Wray

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